sorry for not updating for such a long time=) although there is a lot of things happened to me, i didn't write these out at here. may be i am busy? ( but i am not), may be i am lazy? may be i think is useless posting it out?last time when i was sad, i will try to find someone to talk to, but now, since that day i ask yingshi what she will do when she felt sad, she said she will keep inside her heart, so from that day... but now.... nvm haizx, things didn't go so well actually, since sec1 when studying at orchid park secondary school, until now, i still faced alot of problems, friends, family studies, relationship... don't know la.. i thought love comes in naturally, when you really like that person, is really cannot express in word. Someone say this and this match. who and who not match? does it really matter? so what if match? so what if not? loves come naturally through your heart... not mouth ! i believed you truly like the person, no matter how much effort you put in, the most important thing is wish the person to be happy rihgt? hope that he could take care of her. take care.. sound so far... but what? actually just hope that she wont get hurt ... most of my friends are younger than me, but everyone also treat me like same age or younger? Actually i don't really mind, i just wish that i could mix with them, but guess what? sometimes i just felt that i am very left out... is it because misunderstanding of age-gap? or what? i don't mind what you all treat me as, cause i am really not ... family problem, since i came to Singapore to study, the connection and relationship with my parents are getting lesser and lesser. They are getting less and less understand about me. The things i hate most is they always tried to use "sarcastic word" to make me do somethings ! which this didn't happened when i study in MALAYSIA ! moreover, at malaysia i still managed to find some friend who knows about me, care about me. my parents always misunderstand the message i try to send to them and turn another way to scold me... studies... the most important things. English, all of my friends know, my english is damm damm damm poor, i don't deny that, but sometimes really hurt when someone tried to learn more and you all down there laughing and teasing at me. since sec1 , i have decided to score well in my english and have a fluent conversation in English. why why why? and now, i am already sec4, O level is coming, and my english still like sh*t. I wanted to go JC and the least is a pass in english isn't it? 2 more months. teachers also look down on the students, i shall not mention their name. Chemistry... omg, this is another subject which i hardly get a pass since beginning of sec 3, and now sec4 ! O LEVEL IS COMING ! the last test i only got 18/40, WTF LA... study also failed... never study also fail... this kind of standard wishing to go to a JC ! other friends down there laugh at me also LAI BU JI ! sorry Mr Ramesh? ....................................................................speechless............................................................ i still remember clearly what my father ask me through the phone when i get back my mind year result... " diyao, is it possible for you to retake the o level next year, ask principal whether you are allow to study sec4 again and retake if cannot make it" when you all saw this, i am not lying , may be you will down there laughing, pity me or what i I DONT CARE ! i just know my dad is not UNDERSTAND ME anymore ! this is what i mean all sort of "sarcastic" , but did he know that i am really very hurt? haizx.. i shall not carry on, i have really really really tired of all kind of things that had happen to me, really tired... shouldn't me be studying now? you may ask me this question and ask me to stop about what happen to the past... i shall stop here. may be you will think i am a emo person, but i just with to thank those who read this post... just want to be happy everyday as well as you to be happy........... if i at malaysia... since i at singapore........... HAIZX!!!! why some girls like that type of guy? o.o loving someone can make you do all sort things... including changing yourself into that type?